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Urinal Etiquette for Dummies

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but basic urinal etiquette, as generally understood in Western Europe and (parts of) USA, appears still to be a mystery in Qatar, at least in some quarters. In the spirit of public service and to give something back to the community, here is Paraglider's Code of Urinal Etiquette. Like all good Codes, it is in two parts. Part 1, The Axiom, sets out the single Inviolable Principle on which the Code is based, while Part 2, The Guidelines, sets out specific dos and don'ts. Are you standing comfortably? Then I'll begin...

Part 1, The Axiom
Urination, even performed in a public urinal, remains a private solo act requiring no intervention, assistance or commentary from any second party.

Part 2, The Guidelines

  1. Do not select a vacant urinal adjacent to an occupied one, unless no other stall is available.
  2. Do not engage your 'neighbour' in conversation, even if he is a friend or colleague. Nothing is so important it can't wait sixty seconds.
  3. On no account look left or right. Either look straight ahead or at the ceiling. Looking down can be misread as an invitation for neighbours to follow your eyes.
  4. Do not break the ice by saying 'This is where the big knobs hang out'. Never, OK?
  5. If the installation comprises three urinals and you are alone, do not select the middle one, as this could be misconstrued as a desire for company. 
  6. If all stalls are occupied, wait at a discreet distance. There is no need to thank the first finisher.
Copies of this Code may be freely distributed. They should be printed on waterproof card and pinned to toilet walls of your choice, until that great day comes when it is no longer necessary.

2 comments:

  1. How did you know about the guy who keeps making the public bathrooms overflow here. Apparently it is vandalism of some sort.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maybe he's a liberal peer? (English joke!) - Thanks for joining the followers, by the way :)

    ReplyDelete

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